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Long distance relationships suck.
Really, they do. But if you find yourself in a geographically challenged partnership you can totally reduce the suckage by establishing a few simple laws. The important part is to make sure those laws match your relationship style, and both partners physical and emotional needs. And since the typical “true love waits” sentiment is completely overdone, and in my opinion, a crock of shit, here are my revised rules for long distance dating:
- Communicate! Talk, text, write, twit, picture share or otherwise communicate in some way everyday. And be open about how you’re feeling and whether things are working.
- Get with the times and get a webcam! A private video conference every couple days can help keep you connected and build up the physical attraction even when you’re thousands of miles away.
- Faithfulness is in the heart, not between the legs. If you don’t think you can keep your urges to yourself then be honest with your partner. Decide if that’s a factor in your relationship and set ground rules on what is acceptable and what is not.
- Be honest!!! In this day and age of stalker tools and public internet transparency, you’re gonna get caught so you might as well be straightforward! If you went out, got drunk, and spent the evening hanging all over the hottest thing your beer goggles could find, confess before we see the pictures of your tongue down their throat tagged to you on myspace. It’s only right.
- Make friends with their friends (at least online). Become an active part in each other’s social circles in some way to help bridge the gap and feel like you are a part of their everyday lives. It also helps you see your partner from another perspective.
- Quit while you’re ahead. We’ve all been there… when the relationship isn’t good anymore. When it’s more work than reward and you spend your days lonely and sad. Don’t do that to yourself or your partner. Sure, cutting the ties are hard, but dragging them along until someone really gets hurt is just cruel.
In the end love from afar is complicated and requires a greater level of trust and communication to make up for all the one-on-one face time that traditional couples have. Otherwise the same rules apply. Respect, honesty, and communication. That is all.
cyberlove, LDR, long distance relationships, online romance
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June 19th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
you should add if you’re over 25..stick with those over 25. There’s a maturity hump i think everyone climbs over at 25. just a thought.
June 19th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
i think another major thing to remember is that long distance relationships have a much higher success rate when an end to the distance is established (whether near or far). long distance relationships clearly have enough obstacles in the path to happiness- ambiguity about when these obstacles will cease is probably the worst of the relationship poisons that a couple could face.
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