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Apr 01

April Fools!The internet is a powerful thing. It allows us real-time access to the latest news, shopping, gossip, entertainment and resources. As a professional blogger of many things, the first thing I do every day is sit down in front of the wonderful glow of my monitors, and allow the internet to feed me my breakfast of vitamin-enriched content and de-caf news. I apply each morning’s lesson as I type out my stories for the day, inserting little bits of current events and tasty morsels into the content that I create. So this morning, like any other, I check my newsfeeds and find an abundance of inspiration and thought to myself “wow, there’s so much going on today that I’ll never be able to review it all!”. Then I started researching the stories I was penning and found out I’ve been punked. I completely forgot today was April Fool’s Day and found myself believing the following pieces of “breaking news”. Good job guys.

One of my favorite funny sites, Stuff White People Like, claimed to have been purchased by the consumer mega-power Target, who planned to use the site as a marketing tool for a new line of organic foods. Apparently us white folks love our organics enough to believe that one.

I’m a strong advocate of the convenience, ease of use, and overall awesomeness of Gmail, but I actually got 2 paragraphs into writing a terribly negative review of their announcement of Gmail Custom Time. The feature is supposed to allow you to alter the timestamp on your emails to make them appear like they were sent in the past. You could even mark them as already read. Touche Mr Pussycat, I am fooled again!!3

AzPunk is deadEven my favorite local punk rock music site AZPunk has gone the way of the April 1st disappearing trend by replacing their landing page with a simple “dead” image and redirecting users to a shopping page for AZPunk products. After checking the source code of the landing page I get the friendly message that the site is not in fact dead, simply cacooning. I wonder if they will emerge as a beautiful butterfly after this unexpected hiatus? Either way, much fun and trickery is left to be had. If you’re looking for a good prank to pull, check out my favorite computer pranks site “I am better than you” for a few ideas!

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Mar 17

Zombie ChristEaster: A Christian Holiday or a Grossly Misinterpreted Historic Zombie Legend?

So after discussing it today with a strangely perverse (in more ways than one) friend of mine we finally figured out how the Christian religions got so prevalently strong, and how it’s believers got to be so adamant. You see… we already know Jesus was a zombie. How he got that way no one’s quite sure… I’m sure being possessed by a holy ghost had something to do with that. Anyhow, if we agree that a person who rises from the dead is a zombie, then our friend Jesus certainly fits the bill. And of course zombies have a short lifespan (according to B-movies and my friend Adam they only keep for about 3 days before completely rotting to nothingness) so they have an incredibly short amount of time to do a lot of damage. They cause the most damage by creating more zombies, so that must have been His objective.

Now before Jesus was a man of spirit, he was first a man of great influence. And a man of great influence, be they dead or the undead, is too refined to go around biting people to turn them into zombies. This is where the whole Christ on a Cracker comes in… See, the way I figure it, Zombie Christ found a way to put his zombified essence into those little wafers you get at communion so he could turn his followers into questionless carriers of his original ailment. Mindless masses who in turn spread the zombie fate.

So all of you have a happy hoppy day and good luck trying to figure out what the bunny had to do with the whole scandal.

Reprinted with permission from Shauna’s personal blog

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