Until recently I have been a corporate schmuck spending the majority of my waking hours in a sea of cubicles wondering how many ways I could kill myself on the job without alarming anyone. I hated my run-of-the-mill tech support job and couldn’t wait for the day I could pack up my desk, stapler and all, and tell my boss to kiss off. My first few weeks of work-from-home bliss were everything I dreamed they would be… hours of leisurely writing at my own pace. Being creative. Spending time with my kids. But then I started noticing some things I never considered all those years I was planning this transition.

1. My car has become a safe haven for spiders to weave their beautiful webs of silk. This is because I have now completely lost my car keys somewhere in the house. They probably ran away due to feelings of restlessness and neglect. Poor car.
2. I have begun talking to store clerks. Even when they do not initiate conversation. Yes… I am THAT lady who holds up the line to ask a perfect stranger what they have planned for the coming holiday weekend. It’s ok… you can sneer at me. I deserve it.
3. I am quickly losing the ability to drive like an intelligent person. Every time I leave the house it has become an adventure in exploration. A welcome bit of sunshine. I get lost wondering when that store opened, and what’s on the radio, and the overall joy of sitting anywhere other than my home office chair.
4. Complete loss of the social skills. While limited to conversations with 5 year olds and grocery store clerks, my more intelligent brain cells have now gone completely dormant. I am slowly developing a stutter and am unable to speak with adults for more than 5 minutes without inevitably tripping over my own tongue.
5. I have however gained the ability to communicate with animals. My dog and I have endless conversations covering everything from what to do for lunch, to how hot the new neighbor’s pekanese puppy is with her cute little perfectly groomed fur and rhinestone collar.

I’m sure these things will pass but for now, for the love of all that is nerdy, comment to me with something to keep my brain stimulated before I become a complete vegetable!